Heart Eyes Review - Horror and Rom-Coms, Together At Last

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Heart Eyes wears its heart on its sleeve, but it wears it well. Do you want a slasher in the Scream vein with references to every rom-com since the 1980s? Then good news: it’s in theaters just in time for Valentine’s Day. The project didn’t need to be much more than slasher stuff with a rom-com coat of paint, but it also manages some sharp writing and a decent scare or two. Though I’m not quite in love with Heart Eyes, it managed a fine first date.

This is the third film from director Josh Ruben. If you’re a Dropout (formerly CollegeHumor) fan like myself, that name probably flooded your mind with clips from Make Some Noise. Ruben debuted with Scare Me, a deconstruction of the horror genre in which he also starred. His follow-up, Werewolves Within, ties with Sonic the Hedgehog 3 for the best-reviewed video game movie on Rotten Tomatoes. Heart Eyes is his biggest film to date, but his love of playing with genre tropes remains key to his oeuvre.

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

The Heart Eyes killer is a serial murderer who hunts couples in a random city each Valentine’s Day. HEK racks up a high, though inevitably even, body count despite long periods of inactivity. Each city wonders whether the masked slasher might strike within their borders, but Seattle becomes the unlucky location. As February 14th rolls around, a PR pro named Ally has lost love on her mind. She’s cyberstalking her ex as she struggles through a tough time at work. Enter Jay, a handsome stranger who walks her through a brief compilation of Hallmark movie mainstays. They enjoy a classic meet-cute before Ally realizes Jay is her new corporate rival. One awkward dinner later, Ally frantically kisses Jay to agitate her ex, drawing the attention of the HEK. Ally and Jay aren’t a couple, but they’ll have to come together to evade the unstoppable killer.

You get the premise right away, especially if you’re a fan of either genre. Scream seems to be the main reference point. Wes Craven’s 1996 classic was a slasher that played with the common tropes of its genre. Heart Eyes does basically the same thing, but it reaches across the video store to check out another shelf. The gimmick allows the plot to stick to slasher standards while having fun in the rom-com space. There’s a lot to like about these jokes. In Ally and Jay’s initial meet-cute, they have a classic clumsy mutual head bump that leaves Jay profusely leaking blood from his broken nose. It’s a simple elevation of a familiar premise, but the film rarely manages the same trick. Unfortunately, Heart Eyes is more interested in referencing rom-coms than genuinely unpacking their implications. It could stand to dig deeper, but at least it has fun.

It’s a Match

A slasher film is only as good as its killer, and the HEK is fairly decent. The character’s aesthetic stands above the Ghostface look, in my opinion, but competition among grounded human killers is slim. The mask looks so good that they named both the villain and the movie after it, but the rest of their outfit matches nicely. Like the old greats, HEK carries a few signature weapons. They take after Jason Voorhees with a selection of bladed tools, including a machete, throwing knives, and a hand crossbow. HEK shines in the improvisational moments, using industrial equipment and found objects to spice things up. Ruben and the screenwriters balance HEK’s talents well. They always feel threatening without ever feeling unbeatable. I can’t see them launching a franchise, but they serve their purpose well.

While the killer works well in context, the main characters carry much more weight on their shoulders. Jay and Ally tend to be the only characters with more than one personality trait, but even they struggle to stay three-dimensional. She’s a cynical loner; he’s a hopeless romantic, but they both won’t stop talking about their feelings toward true love. Jay really struggles to pin down a consistent personality beyond his fondness for romance. Ally is a bit more defined, but she also bounces between modes at random. This lack of reliable characterization keeps the romantic subplot far below its potential. You never get enough of a sense of these characters to feel them fall for each other. It’s less like watching soulmates meet and more like two strangers on fate’s most brutal dating show. Their flimsy personalities are the film’s most notable weakness.

Heart Eyes is a slick, compelling, and well-crafted horror rom-com with enough genre savvy to nail both aesthetics. It’s far from perfect, but the jokes land and the kills remain gut-wrenching, so there’s little room to complain. If the main characters and the genre commentary were more substantial, we could have had a true instant classic on our hands. Instead, the film finds loads of fun in its concept without ever digging too deep. Heart Eyes picked a goal and accomplished it, and like a good date, it’ll leave you wanting more.