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Home»Human Interest»New Texas Bill Wants to Show Your Face When Buying a Sex Toy: ‘At Least Texans Can Still Get F***ed by The Government’

New Texas Bill Wants to Show Your Face When Buying a Sex Toy: ‘At Least Texans Can Still Get F***ed by The Government’

Talk about a buzzkill for vibrating device owners

Sid NatividadBy Sid NatividadMarch 26, 20253 Mins Read
Texas sex toy
Image Source: Unsplash

Texas is certainly starting to become freakier with its state laws, and a new proposed addition now seeks to require people to show their government ID and photo to purchase sex toys online. The bill, called SB 3003, is currently not in effect yet, thankfully, but it has raised some concerns about privacy and freedom.

Texas bill SB 3003 was authored and proposed by Senator Angela Paxton, a member of the Republican Party. SB 3003 aims to strengthen the age verification for the online sale of “obscene devices” or sex toys. To enforce that, the bill requires the vendors to ask for buyer identification– and not just any ID; it has to be government-issued and has to have the owner’s photo on it, revealing not just the name, age, and possibly address, but also the face.

Should the bill become an act or a law, any purchase of any product categorized as a “sex toy” will be strictly for adults or those aged 18+. Apparently, it wasn’t enough for Sen. Paxton that credit cards already require the owner to be 18 years old or older.

The bill does propose a workaround for the ID with a photo, and that would be a “third-party age verification services that use public records or other reliable sources to verify the purchaser’s identity and age,” which doesn’t exactly sound safer or more appealing. Regardless, it appears the proposed bill aims to protect the youth from exposure to sex toys.

The Bill Underestimates the Resourcefulness of Horny People

Due to the rather strict and invasive nature of the bill, 404 Media has thus suggested that it will only compel sex toy vendors and sellers to work around the hypothetical law by naming and categorizing their sex toys as “massage” devices or other labels. Such a phenomenon has happened before, notably back in the early 2000s, and in Texas, too. Back then, owning six or more dildos was criminalized in Texas, so people had to pretend they weren’t “sex toys.”

The joke’s on Sen. Paxton, though, because people have been passing off vibrators as lightsabers since the dawn of civilization. They’d have to propose another bill to lay down a strict classification for what constitutes an “obscene” device. Even something as innocuous as a figurine might do it for certain people.

Texas Janitor Who Peed in Water Supply & Spread Herpes to Co-Workers is ‘Only Facing 6 Years’ in Prison
Related: Texas Janitor Who Peed in Water Supply & Spread Herpes to Co-Workers is ‘Only Facing 6 Years’ in Prison

And of course, the proposed bill has drawn the mockery of many people online. Senator Angela Paxton is the wife of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, and both of them belong to the Republican Party. Hence, came the dildo jokes and getting screwed by the government jokes.

“At least Texans can still get f***ed by the government,” says Redditor BlueyedIrush

“First they took the dildos, and I was quiet,” jokes Redditor at0mheart

“Sex toys are dangerous man, guns on the other hand not so much,” according to Redditor Pitch-forker

Related Topics
human interest texas
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Sid Natividad
  • Website

Sid was born, did some stuff, then decided to become a writer. He found respite in the sweet embrace of video games and pop culture after serving as a journalist, covering warzones and depressed areas. It seems he prefers the much lower chance of getting hit by a stray bullet during work hours.

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